


The Tender Indifference of the World

by Cranbarely



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And i have so much respect for you folks who update regularly like woW, But I also want to hurt my own feelings, Comedy, Dattebayo, Did I already say Pining?, Gaara and Naruto are my brOTP, I just want them to be happy, Im a slow writer, M/M, Naruto is a supportive friend, Night Terrors, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Gaara (Naruto), PTSD/CPTSD, Panic Attacks, Pining, Questionable Coping Mechanisms, Romance is scary, Ruh Roh Intimacy Issues, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Trans Gaara (Naruto), Triggering Content Warning, We out here embracing the power of youth, kind of ooc, rock lee is a sweetheart, sorry in advance for all the mistakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:00:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cranbarely/pseuds/Cranbarely
Summary: Over the years he'd learned how to be social, how to interact with society. And yet that intangible pain never left his chest. There was an unmistakable distance between him and the rest of the world. As if he was only but a spectator in life, silently observing. Solitude was familiar, a sick sort of comfort. That is how he learned to stay safe. But what if, for once, he took on the lead role?Aw nuts I'm not great at summaries. Hope you enjoy :)
Relationships: Gaara & Rock Lee, Gaara/Rock Lee
Comments: 25
Kudos: 43





	1. That's life I guess.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright folks, lemme level with ya. I haven't written a cohesive story in over six years. One could say I fell off the writing wagon. Even though writing hasn't been so present in my life in recent time, I've still greatly enjoyed reading short stories/fics. Maybe a little too much (escapism anyone?). With the pandemic disrupting my slow progress towards a social life, I've reverted back to my hermit ways. And within my shell I had a thought. "Why don't I write my own fic? Fuck it, right?". So here we are. I've got quite a bit written already, however its all still very rough. Who am I kidding, the published story is gonna be rough all around. But such is the beauty of life, ahaa... I genuinely hope you derive some form of enjoyment from this. Sorry for the shady story summary, I've always been terrible as explaining.
> 
> Also, I made a playlist! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Am3mH9Uxpf436ZveYPHMt

"How are you doing today?" He asked in a mock pleasant tone.

The older woman on the other side of the counter paid him no mind, continuing to study the menu in her hands. Great, looks she’s one of those customers. There was a possibility she didn’t hear him, but Gaara doubted it. He clenched his fist and cleared his throat.

"Do you need a little time deciding what you want?" He said, just barely hiding his growing distaste. She looked up at him like he was the bane of her existence and nodded in annoyance.

"Alright, I’ll be right here when you need me." He beamed at her with a wide, borderline crazed smile. The corners of his mouth upturned so high his jaw hurt from the strain. She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the menu. Gaara let the façade drop in an instant and chanced a glare at the top of her head.

People like her seemed to come only on his shift. Disrespect was the name of the game when it came to working register. Day after day Gaara smiled in the face of people he'd much rather kick in the eye. It really did not help one's already low self esteem. Ah, the joys of foodservice.

"Hey Gaara cover expo for a sec, I’m gonna go smoke" Called Shikamaru, already untying his apron.

"I cant, there's a customer trying to order." He replied coolly, turning his head and momentarily breaking the death stare. Shikamaru frowned deeply.

"Ugh, what a drag." He mumbled, look up at the POS with distain while tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter.

The woman seemed to have taken great offense at Gaara’s casual mention of her because when he looked back she was staring at him with fierce contempt in her eyes. Almost as if saying 'how dare you speak of me like that you incredulous peasant'. Gaara wasn’t fazed, he forced a smile and vowed to kill her with kindness. Or at least annoy the shit out of her with persistent customer service. 

He took a deep breath and straightened his apron. "Are you ready to order now, ma'am?"  
*********

With the dinner rush now over, Gaara was just about ready to commit ritualistic suicide inside the walk in cooler. The day was as chaotic and crowded as any other. Hordes of drunken college students flooded the restaurant, spilling their noodles indiscriminately and making his job ever so pleasant. 

He scowled at the condom wrapper someone had left on a table. The only semblance of a tip he'd get tonight, no doubt. 

"Got any plans after work?" Asked Ino, sauntering up to him. Gaara shook his head no and continued sweeping. "Weeell, a couple of us were gonna go to the Pervy Sage after close. If you wanna come..?"

"You mean that skeezy run-down excuse for a nightclub? I’m not looking to catch hepatitis tonight, Ino. And you know I’m not 21." he said pointedly.

She scoffed "It's not THAT bad and they don't even card! Come on! We never get to see you outside of work, hang out with us!" 

“I don't mean to offend when i say Its a no from me.”

“Let loose for a little while! Unwind, have a good time. You look like you need it!” She pushed.

Exasperated, Gaara stopped what he was doing and gave her a warning look. There was a pause as she shifted on the spot nervously, obviously made uncomfortable by the intense eye contact. "I said no." He said plainly, with a bit more venom than intended by the hurt look on Ino’s face. That was probably rude. Gaara broke eye contact and ran a hand through his hair. 

"I don’t like going out. I don’t really do things like that. Sorry, I hope you guys have fun tonight." Ino straightened up and waved a hand dismissively. "It’s fine. Don’t even worry about it man, I get it." 

“Thank you, Ino.”

No, she probably didn't get it, that was just fine by him. Ino trotted away and he began cleaning up the dining room again. While wiping down a corner table, he spotted a five-dollar bill on the floor. Nice, guess it wasn’t such a bad day after all.  
*********

The cold in the air bit the tip of his nose and made his fingers go numb. Gaara retreated further into his scarf and pondered. He could wait at the bus stop and ride home, but Gaara was restless tonight. Who was he kidding, he was restless every night. Gaara forwent going straight home, something about it felt like a defeat.

The wind howled in his ears but despite the cold he pressed forward. He wandered down the street, passing by crowded bars and empty restaurants. Neon lights painted the sidewalk, creating an almost dream-like atmosphere. Gaara liked being down here at night, even with the occasional harassment from drunk college boys and overconfident hustlers, It was somehow peaceful. Buskers and panhandlers lined the street, the gentle sounds of acoustic guitar and clinking change filled the air. Sure, downtown was always crowded during the day. But night time was when it really came alive.

"Hey, sweetheart! Long time no see." Called a gruff male voice from somewhere unseen to his left.

Gaara whipped around, ready for confrontation.

"Oh," He moved to sit down next to the man on the curb. "Hello Kuma." 

Kuma, or Kosuke Maruboshi, was a regular on the streets. He'd been panhandling around these parts longer than Gaaras been alive. Nicknamed for his strong bear hugs and booming roar of a laugh, he was just about one of the nicest people you could run into while out on the town.

"How’ve you been Gaara?" Kuma asked with a warm smile, patting him on the back. Gaara tried not to seize up at the unexpected touch. He clenched his fist and counted down from five in his head.

“I’ve just been working. Trying to get through to the next day I suppose." 

Kuma sighed deeply at that. "I hear you there. You’d think being drunk would loosen their pockets a little bit." He said, looking up at the street and the passing cliques of students. Kuma kept a smile on his face, but his eyes showed something resembling resentment.

"No luck out here?" Gaara asked, reaching in his pocket for the five-dollar bill. 

"No, not really, nowadays no one wants to pay an old man any piece of mind. I try not to hold any ill will against them though... Hey! Kid, put that money back in your pocket. Lords know they don’t pay you enough at that noodle place. Say, are you still working there?"

Gaara reluctantly returned the bill to its place in his coat. He’d had this exchange with Kuma countless times over the years, it was no use trying to convince him to take the money now. "Yeah, I'm still stuck at Ichiraku. We're on General Manager number seven now. I'm hoping this one stays longer than two months." Kuma laughed a hearty laugh, his voice echoing through the street. Gaara jumped a little at the loud noise.

"That place is a mess!" Kuma cried out.

Gaara smirked ever so slightly. "Tell me about it, this morning I walked into a kitchen flooded with water up to my ankles." Kuma feigned a gasp. "That’s not all, there were dead mice floating in the water." This sent Kuma into a fit, and Gaara couldn’t help but join in on the infectious laughter. 

"Oh, kid you always crack me up! Thanks for coming to talk with me." He wrapped an arm around Gaara in a half hug and squeezed. Gaara stifled a gasp and quickly recovered his composure. "Any time Kuma, it's always a delight to talk to you." He got up, struggling a bit from the age in his legs, and straightened out his coat. 

"I’ll see you around kid, and don’t be a stranger!"

"I'll see you later. Take care, Kuma."

He continued walking down the street, hands in his pocket, and music blaring in his ears. He didn’t exactly know where he was going, just knew he wanted something of a comfort. Going straight home after work, as familiar as the action was, felt like a waste. A few blocks later, he stopped outside one of the only open stores, a tea shop named "Chanoyu". He'd been there maybe once or twice before. Standing outside the door he racked his brain for a more detailed memory. If he was correct, it was a cozy little place. That sounded nice. Gaara hummed in thought and shrugged as he entered the store. 

Not a second later he regretted his choice.


	2. Them There Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehehe, Hi. Long time no see huh? That is assuming I've got regular viewers! Sorry for my long absence folks. Life's rough, writings tough, and sometimes you just cant finish editing. I am finally at peace (for the most part) with this chapter.  
> Be prepared, I'm about to mope. In all honesty, motivations a fickle thing. I'm sure that most of you understand what I mean. If im being real chief, life's been a beach. A very crummy littered beach that smells like dead sea creatures.   
> To any reader(s), thank you for taking a look :)

"Gaara?" A voice boomed over his music. Gaara took out his earbuds and craned his neck to look over the counter only to see a head of pink hair bobbing excitedly.

She continued her barrage. "It’s been so long! I haven't seen you since-"

"Highschool." He finished. "Good to see you, Sakura." He lied.

She was a former highschool classmate. On the average day you could hear Haruno from the other side of the school, lecturing/yelling at another student on something that seemed oh so terribly important.

He walked on over to the counter, mentally cursing the heavens.

"So whatcha been doing since graduation?" She inquired with a smile that didn't reach her eyes. Naruto always said Sakura’s heart was in the right place, but she just had a funny way of showing it. Gaara thought Naruto was too forgiving.

He muttered “Nothing of note.” hoping she’d give up on conversation and take his order.

"Yeah I feel that. I moved out right after and started rooming with my friend Ino. Right now I’m working on getting my bachelors in Nursing, it's exhausting."

Gaara bit down his ‘I didn't ask’ remembering all the times Naruto had chided him for being ‘rude as hell my guy’.

“Nursing.” He deadpanned, maybe only with a smidge of malice. Sakura put him off and he still felt some residual anger for how she treated Naruto back in school. Her smile faltered and her brow twitched. That definitely struck a nerve.

“Yup!” She said, popping the p. “I really wanted to do something useful with my time, yknow?”

Gaara only let out a "hmm" in response, hoping that’d suffice for small talk. 

"Anyway, what can I get for ya, Gaara?" She asked, sounding undeniably impatient.

"I'm..not sure yet." He replied half studying the menu. Surely the drink wasn't worth this headache, He had tea at home afterall.

Sakura lit up “Oh! My coworker loves to figure out people's drinks, I’ll grab him right away!” And like a flicker she spun around and sped towards the back room. He supposed Sakura wanted to leave the conversation as much as he did. Couldn't blame her, he wasn't that fun to talk to. Gaara furrowed his nonexistent brow, kind of miffed he’d have to speak to yet another person.

One muffled conversation later, Gaara swore he could hear her say “Because he’s pissing me off!”, Sakura’s coworker emerged from the backroom. His first thoughts were ‘big’ and ‘green’ though this man resembled no jolly giant. Well maybe a little bit. Gaara watched, mouth slightly agape, as he pranced over to the counter.

“I hear you are in need of assistance!” The man's voice was sweet and bubbling over with enthusiasm. 

Sakura followed close behind, pointedly not looking at Gaara. “Lee, this is Gaara.” She vaguely gestured towards him, still not looking his way. “You remember Rock Lee right? We went to highschool together.” It came out sounding more like a challenge than introduction, and the cocked eyebrow didn't help.

The pert man smiled as Gaara eyed him warily and racked his brain. “No, I don't. My memory's kind of hazy.” He said. After a short pause he added “I'm sorry.” on impulse.

“Well that is no matter, I do not blame you for not getting to know every classmate of yours!” Rock Lee beamed at him once more. Gaara’s mouth felt very dry and his thoughts practically flatlined. The sudden energy this man exuded was kind of throwing him off guard. 

“Nice to meet you officially, Rock Lee.” He managed, meeting large doe eyes with his own. Rock Lee’s gaze was somehow warm and welcoming yet fierce and disarming. Gaara felt painfully aware of his own existence and...was his heart beating faster than normal?

“It is a pleasure to officially meet you as well! Now...” Lee turned toward the menu behind him, gesturing vaguely with one hand. Gaara's eyes traced the line of his muscular arm to his fingertips. Odd, what a large number of bandages he wore. His mind wandered. Perhaps he is clumsy, maybe he gets burned a lot making tea?

“We need to figure out what it is you like. I know just what to do. To start off with, which do you prefer? Sweet or bitter?”

This time Gaara didn't need to think of the words. “Bitter.”

Lee looked slightly disappointed. With an exaggerated frown he exclaimed. “That is a shame, I make the best coconut mango bubble milk-tea in all of Konohoa!” The corner of Gaara’s mouth twitched, trying his best to hide a smirk. “Too bad.” He replied nonchalantly. The drink sounded absolutely disgusting, but he couldn't help feeling like he was missing out.

Lee continued to question him with increasing enthusiasm. Normally he’d have cut this interaction short as Gaara was never too fond of prolonged conversation. But he found himself entertaining Lee’s quizzing. There was something amusing, almost fascinating about this man's excitable demeanor.

“Alright! I know exactly what you would like!” Lee exclaimed. An elderly man reading a newspaper looked up, assuredly upset with the ruckus. Lee sheepishly waved an apology and turned back to face Gaara. 

“I have a simple and effective drink in mind, ginger black tea with a dash of lemon! That sounds delightful, does it not?” Lee said much quieter this time.

He nodded once. "Thank you, that does sound nice.” Gaara reached for the bill in his pocket. “How much will that be?”

Lee waved his hands. “No need my friend, this one is on the house! Consider it my treat.” Lee assured him with a soft smile and a wink. 

“Thanks...Rock Lee.” He accepted, though suspicion creeped up his spine. Why would he do that? 

“Just call me Lee!” He declared with a flashing smile and a thumbs up.

Gaara didn't know how to respond, only giving a small nod of acknowledgement. While a little voice in the back of his head called out danger, Lee exuded nothing but kindness. Still, Gaara didn't like the feeling of owing a stranger.

He wandered a few paces away from the counter as Lee left to make the drink alongside Sakura. Gaara had almost but completely forgotten she was there, busying herself with cleaning. Waiting awkwardly, he observed them move swiftly through the small “kitchen”.

Lee’s hands worked gracefully, making the simple act of brewing tea seem almost sacred. Only now did Gaara really notice how scarred those hands were. Bandages covered most of his fingers. What little skin was exposed revealed jagged white streaks scattered sporadically, the scars making stark contrast to his copper skin. Lee set the timer for the tea to steep and joined Sakura in wiping down equipment. 

Gaara had just put his earbuds back in and had his finger hovering over the ‘play’ button when Lee and Sakura’s conversation gained them his rapt attention. 

“So Gaara, he was your friend in highschool? He seems very nice!” Lee asked in an excited whisper.

“I dunno. Maybe friend is sort of a strong word to use.” She quipped in a hushed tone.

Gaara muffled a snort at that. He meandered over to another shelf, this time holding a variety of strainers and teapots for sale. Gaara still didn't play his music, his curiosity getting the better of him. It felt sneaky pretending to not hear them, he kind of liked it.

Sakura continued. “And so is nice. He’s not like mean or anything, but Gaara’s kind of...I don't know.”

“How do you mean?” Lee sounded concerned.

She paused.

Gaara knew what she would say. He should just blast his tunes, get the drink and go. 

“I don't know how else to say it, but he's off. Y'know?” She pointed a finger towards her temple to emphasize the last word “In the head.”

Lee did not respond. From his periphery Gaara saw Lee freeze. He wished Lee would speak, react with disgust, fear, anything really. Gaara also fantasized about jumping the counter and tackling Sakura. Anger bubbled up inside of him.

“Total loner, short fuse, zoning out for minutes on end” She counted off on her fingers. “You name it.”

Gaara wanted to tear out her throat, but he didn't know why. Fuck it, he didnt care.

“Sakura I think this might be too much inf-”

She cut Lee off. “I’m not a psychologist...”

Maybe if he didn’t move he would disappear. Mixed emotions ran wild through his head.

“..but I can tell you there's something mentally fucked up about that kid. I’m only nice to him cause i'm scared he’ll-”

This time it was Lee who cut her off.

“Sakura.” He raised his voice, that ever so pleasant tone now gone. “I am sorry to be rude, but I can not listen to this anymore!” Gaara turned and stared wide eyed, not fully comprehending what was going on.

Sakura started, but Lee cut her off, speaking full volume now. “I would not want you to tell a stranger about my darkest moments, so why speak of his?”

Lee started to tear up at that last sentiment.

“Lee, keep your voice down!” Sakura hissed.

He didn't follow her order. “You should not talk about people that way, it is dishonorable!” Tears now flowed freely down Lee’s cheeks. 

“Jesus Christ Lee I’m just trying to warn you!” Sakura spat out.

Just then, the timer beeped. Signifying that the tea was indeed finished. Their heads snapped to face him, Sakura looking horrified and Lee blushing beet red.

Time slowed as Gaara felt control of his body come reeling back to him like a punch to the gut. He only had seconds to decide what to do. He tried, very hard, to trample down the whirlwind of feelings in his chest.

Gaara nonchalantly took out one of his earbuds and in a casual voice asked “Is my tea ready?”

Lee gulped. “I uh uhm, yes! It is.” He spun and added the finishing touches.

Gaara could hear Sakura breathe a sigh of relief. Good, they were none the wiser. He walked back to the cash register and grabbed his drink from Lee. Gaara looked directly into those warm eyes and said “Thank you Lee, you’ve been very kind.” He meant it. Gaara then turned to look at Sakura with a dismissive tone said “I’ll tell Sasuke and Naruto you said hi.”

Sakura blanched and her jaw dropped. She began to speak as Gaara turned and left. Last thing he heard was the jingle of the door chime and a frustrated growl from Sakura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lay it on me buddies, I gotta know. I've re-re-re-read the chapter hundreds of times to try and pick up on an inconsistencies but there's a high chance I've goofed up somewhere. Forgive me, I am not very graceful.   
> I'd like to mention that so far the chapter titles have been Billie Holiday songs, I just love her so much. I was in a soppy romance mood when planning out chapter titles. I don't think I'll keep up that theme if it takes away from the chapters theme.  
> Thank you so much for reading, my gratitude is immeasurable. Also thanks to my bestie for helping me comb through the story knots and for her undying support. Love ya buddy.


	3. Cheer up, you're not dead yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow an update in under six months? Hath hell frozen over? Heyo, I finished chapter three wowieee. Heads up this is very dialogue heavy.

Fuck.

Gaara was a spiteful bastard, and he knew it. Still, the recent reminder didn't sting any less. With his anger fully dissipated, he stared at the long cooled cup of tea in his hands as if it were a jury finding him ‘guilty of all charges’. The wind howling through the bus shelter seemed to agree with the drinks accusation.

God, what an asshole. He sniffled, setting the cup beside him and cradled his head in his hands. He shouldn’t have listened in on that conversation. He shouldn’t have let his anger get the better of him, again. He shouldn't have gone inside that fucking shop. Gaara pulled his hat over his eyes and groaned at the memory of Sakura’s horrified expression. He might not have liked her, but hated himself even more right now.

His sulking was interrupted by the distinct sound of a bus squealing to a stop.  
..........................

He didn't bother stopping by Temari's room to see if she was up.

Gaara kicked off his boots and collapsed on the bed face first. His eyes burned and his muscles ached. He sighed heavily and rolled over, huddling himself in his blanket. Gaara reached in his jacket (that he neglected to take off) and pulled out his phone calling the only number he had on speed dial. 

It rang once until the other person picked up. 

"Whaddya want bitch boy, im playing PUBG."

"Hey." Was all he could think to say. 

Naruto’s voice was immediately full of concern. "What’s up?" 

He screwed his eyes shut and rubbed his temple "I did something pretty awful."

“Ok, hold on- Lemme kill this guy quick.” There was a small clatter and the muffled sound of Naruto’s voice. “Sorry guys, gotta go. Something important came up.” Even with the immense weight of a guilty conscience, Gaara smiled at being considered important. “I'm back, I'm back. So, what happened?”

He took a deep breath and tried to relay the evening's events for Naruto.

“Sakura? Geez that's kinda rough. And you said she got someone else to take your order? That's weird.”

“I was kind of antagonizing her” He sighed with frustration. “I know it's not right, but seeing her brought back a lot of residual feelings.”

Naruto hummed with understanding. “Alright not a great move but keep going.”

Gaara recounted, with much exasperated confusion, the conversation he eavesdropped on.

“He shut her down? And they say chivalry is dead. Also, wow that's rough, I'm so sorry about Sakura.” Naruto sounded almost apologetic. Like it was his own fault somehow. Something about that annoyed Gaara.

“I was so mad Naruto. I wanted to hurt her feelings. I..brought up you and Sasuke, said I’d tell you guys she said hi. And then I left.”

He could hear Naruto inhale deeply. “Ok, so that is pretty fucked up.” 

“Yeah.” he sniffled.

“Hoo boy. Went straight for the jugular huh?” Naruto said with a bit of humor, but he was only met with a groan from Gaara.

“Right, sorry. Ok so here's the good news, you're not an awful person.”

Gaara tried to laugh but it came out sounding like a strangled sob.

“Aaaand'' Naruto continued. “You can fix this.”

“I CAN’T go back.” he exclaimed.

“Correction, you don't want to! Bro, you messed up pretty bad and it's obvious that doesn't sit right with you.”

“What am I supposed to say, hello Sakura sorry for bringing up your highschool heartbreak, no hard feelings?”

“Shit that might do, I don't know! All I do know is that you've gotta do what's right.”

“It's not just facing Sakura, it's her coworker too. He was so nice, did I mention he gave me the drink for free? And right after he told Sakura to stop, I went and proved her right. I’m such an asshole.”

“Hey, that's my best friend you're talking about buster!”

“Well, you have a shitty friend.” Gaara deadpanned.

Naruto laughed good heartedly. “Pfft I’ll kick your ass for talking that smack! But for real dude don't beat yourself up too much.”

Gaara grunted.

“Take it as a teaching moment my guy! Sometimes Sakura’s a real b-word but she's human and so are you. Go and apologize and tip real well when you do.”

“Love how you called me bitch boy but you call HER b-word.”

“Stop deflecting!”

“Right right.” He sighed for what felt like the 100th time that night. “I’ll do it. This is gonna suck.”

“Hmm, maybe. But it’s what's right.”

Gaara let out a little huff of amusement. “So, and I’m not deflecting, but how are you and Sasuke?”

It was Naruto's turn to groan this time. “He’s being kind of a bastard right now, but I still love him.”

“Classic.”

“What can I say, I’m a ride or die kind of guy.”

Their conversation meandered on for another hour, Naruto excitedly shared his new idea for a comic and Gaara lamented the loss of yet another one of his plants. The clock read 1:00 a.m. when Naruto declared he was ‘tired as shit’.

“Alright nighty night lil buddy.” Naruto said, voice thick with exhaustion.

“Fuck off, you too.” Gaara replied, equally groggy. “Thanks for talking to me about the whole Sakura thing. Seriously, I really appreciate it.”

“What kind of gentleman would I be to turn down a friend in need?!” Naruto exclaimed in a horrific posh accent, followed by a loud yawn. “Love yoooou Gaara.”

Gaara smiled wide. “I love you too, goodnight.” And with a click the room was silent again.

He set his phone on the nightstand and huddled deeper within the confines of his blanket cocoon. The haze of falling asleep came swiftly, washing over him like a gentle ocean wave. Before consciousness slipped away, Gaara remembered he left his fucking tea at the bus stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gimmie that feedback (if you feel like it) I really need it! Thanks for reading :)


	4. Melancholy Deja Vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Night Terrors. It's nothing too terrible, but kinda rough dream sequence ahead.

_He stood alone and naked in a cold white room. No, not just a room. It was a bathroom, his childhood bathroom. He was very sure. His back was to the door, or, where the door should be. Gaara searched the perimeter for an escape but was only met with smooth wallpaper._

_Behind him he heard a splash and a steady dripping sound. A faucet, he presumed. Was it always dripping? He shivered as dread creeped up his spine._

_With every nerve on edge, Gaara turned to face the source of noise. At the opposite end of the room sat a perfectly inocuos bathtub._

_His body screamed at him to stay still, and yet his legs moved automatically. He walked, no, glided toward the tub. The chilly tile floor was wet with something. Water, he thought distantly._

_Gaara’s feet grew colder as he trekked forward. The room stretched on for miles upon miles. Puddles turned to ponds and Gaara grunted with effort as he trudged through waist deep water._

_After years, or minutes, he made it. He knelt down and tentatively touched the edge of the tub. It was painful, as if the porcelain were turned to ice. It burned his fingertips._

_Gaara peered into the milky waters and saw nothing. No end and no reflection. Only ripples made by the leaking faucet. He tried to turn the handle, but it only hissed with pain at his touch. He drew closer to the water's surface, looking for something, anything._

_Slowly, calloused fingertips rose from the opaque depths. And with them, the hand to which they belonged joined soon after. It beckoned Gaara forward._

_He didn’t want to go._

_The hand flexed with anger at his defiance. With a thunderous crash of waves, it shot up and grabbed him by the throat. The hand’s rings dug into his skin, hot metal branding his flesh. It dragged Gaara down, down, deeper than deep._

_His screams were drowned out into nothing but rising bubbles of panic. He clawed and thrashed to no avail. The hand on his throat held steadfast with a crushing force. Gaara’s lungs filled with water. His protests turned weaker and weaker._

_He was going to die._

_He was going to- ___

__Gaara shot up from bed panting and covered in sweat. His hand immediately felt for his throat. His breath hitched but he was breathing nonetheless. That was a good sign._ _

__“Fuck...” He whispered, heartbeat slowly returning to normal. With his body coming back to reality he’d begun to feel a cutting pain in his ribs._ _

__“Fuuuuuck...” He lamented when he realized he’d fallen asleep in his work clothes. Fallen asleep in his binder...again. Gaara fumbled to unzip his coat, shimmy out of his shirt, and undo the metal clasps. He peeled away the sweat soaked garments with disgust, tossing them about his room unceremoniously._ _

__Gaara groaned as he rolled out of bed and checked the floor length mirror. Angry red welts ran up his sides and along his chest. He touched the one of the wounds lightly, nearly biting off his tongue trying to hold back a howl. Looked like it was going to be another loose clothing kind of day. Thank some omnipotent god he didn't have work today._ _

__Reaching for his beside water bottle, Gaara paused partway through. He was remarkably parched. But it was too soon. He gulped down the memory and resolved to find clean clothes._ _

__.........................._ _

__“Morning sleepyhead!” Temari called from the kitchen. “Coffee?”_ _

__Gaara grunted an affirmative as he padded into the room. His hair was disheveled and his clothes at least three sizes too large. She leveled him with a disapproving look and tisked as he took his seat at their small dining room table._ _

__“You look a mess.” She remarked as she poured two cups. French Vanilla creamer for hers and milk for his. He only shrugged in response._ _

__“Rough night?” Temari set the mug adorned with a bored looking orange cat exclaiming ‘I don’t like most days’ in front of him._ _

__He leveled her with one of those ‘what do you fucking think?’ looks and hurriedly grabbed the mug. She scoffed and took the seat across from him. They both sat silent for a few moments, sipping on their drinks. Gaara frowned into his coffee, feeling utterly unmoored._ _

__“Another nightmare?” Temari asked, eyeing him over her drink. Gaara looked up from his cup and nodded solemnly. Her face softened and she reached across the table to rest her hand upon his. He just jumped a little bit, barely registering the touch. Gaara zeroed in on her rings. On one in particular._ _

__“Gaara...You're, you're alright now. Yeah?” Her voice was soft, but tight with concern._ _

__He sighed and shook his head. “Alright as I’ll ever be.” Gaara offered her a strained smile._ _

__Temari chuckled lightly. “How about this.” She patted his hand. “Let's say we blow off today and watch movies?”_ _

__Gaara glanced towards the calendar. Temari had another job interview today, but she assuredly knew that. He smiled at her, truly this time. “I’d like that.”_ _

__.........................._ _

__Under a mountain of blankets, Temari chastised Gaara for his choice of films._ _

__“Face/off? You’ve got to be joking.”_ _

__Gaara scowled at her. “It’s a classic, Temari.”_ _

__She rolled her eyes and reached for a handful of popcorn from the bowl perched between them. “Right, because a high speed boat chase scene really screams classy cinema.”_ _

__He snatched the bowl of popcorn, holding it as far away from her as possible . “It’s my mental health day and I get to choose the movie.”_ _

__Temari easily reached over him to snatch the divisive snack receptacle. Damn her superior height. “So far you chose ALL the movies. But fine, you can have your trashy action film.”_ _

__“Well actually, if you read between the lines it's actually quite the thrilling romance.”_ _

__She groaned. “Oh GOD do not start with this bullshit again, please.”_ _

__He smiled a mischievous little grin, so ready to start with this bullshit. “You see it all starts with the dichotomy of seeking revenge as a proprietor of justice. For example, when Nicholas Cage's character-”_ _

__Temari threw a pillow over her head and pleaded for mercy. Gaara elaborated, much louder, because this was _absolutely detrimental _to understanding the subtext of the film.___ _

____They spent the rest of the day, goofing around yelling that the t.v. screen. By nightfall Gaara no longer felt off kilter, but just a little crooked. Shit, he even got fully dressed. Fueled by a good day, he texted Naruto._ _ _ _

_____I think I’m gonna go back to the tea shop tonight. Fuck me, I hate this. Wish me luck. ____ _ _ _

______The reply was immediate._ _ _ _ _ _

_______you got this big boy <3 ____ _ _ _ _ _

________Gaara smiled to himself and stuffed the phone back into his pocket._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Temari stretched out on the couch. “Let's say we order a pizza? In the spirit of recovery of course.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I’ve...actually got some plans tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________She shot up wide eyed. “You? Plans?? Who are you and what have you done with my baby brother?” She was giddy with excitement._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Kind of. It’s complicated.” Gaara considered leaving it vague, but knowing Temari she’d wrangle it out of him somehow. She was already starting to give him puppy eyes. “I said something mean to a former classmate. I’m going back to her job to apologize.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hmm. Well, that certainly is unexpected. I’m guessing Naruto put you up to this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“What are you implying?” Gaara asked, faking dismay. Temari leveled him with a look. “Ok, yes Naruto was the one to convince me to apologize. But I’m not doing this for him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Temari nudged him playfully. “I knoow that. I'm proud of you honey. You're showing initiative! Growing and maturing into a fine young man!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Gaara snorted. “Jesus christ Temari, laying it on a bit thick aren't we?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Shhh let me have my moment.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its a bit short, sorry folks! I just felt it flowed better as one small chapter. Also Face/Off is a kickass good movie >:( Lemme know what yall think (about the chapter I mean, but also face/off if you want to)
> 
> Thankyou SO much for reading :) I hope you have a nice night/day.


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